I'm extremely tired, have school work, not in the best of moods, ate way too much for supper... this afternoon has taken a turn for the yucks and blahs - but! I'm getting ready to do my very short but intense 20 minute workout. Hoping it will give me some energy.... :/ we shall see.
tomorrow is my weigh day and after what I ate for supper I don't see me losing any weight this week, but if not there is always next week. I'm pushing through and doing it anyway....
(even though you can not talk to to and give me instant motivation, this helped :)
:)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
A Little Bit of Everything
Student Teaching
It is so nice to have days off - especially when I am starting to teach my first subject tomorrow. :) I have been getting ready for everything that my class will be doing. I'm a little nervous but slowly feeling like they are my class too. At first I didn't really want to say anything to them just because I felt like I was just a visitor but I'm getting more and more comfortable in that area.
Tomorrow I start my first subject, writing. I actually like writing, well not really, it's hard to explain. Anyways... my class will be working on persuasive writing. I have what is hopefully something fun for them to do. I am used to kindergarten so I am very used to breaking things down to make something as simple and easy for the students. I plan on continuing to do that with 3rd grade. Even though they do not need things broken down so much any more I kinda feel like if I break it down a few times they will grasp the concept easier and not have as many problems down the road.
So far I have enjoyed 3rd grade. I definitely miss kindergarten, but this is excatly what student teaching is supposed to help me with right? Kinda figure out things and learn to teach different subjects and age groups. I definitley miss my kindergarten class. My last day my teacher bought a cookie cake for me and had the students sign their names to signs she made. It was so sweet and at the end of the day when they all ran up to me to give me a hug I almost cried. :)
Exercise/Nutrition Goals
I finally came up with a training goal and weight loss goal for the month of January. lol Better late than never right? My training goal is to be able to do 15 male push-ups by January 31st. As of today i can do 11... and it is tough. My weight loss goal for the month is to lose 8 to 10 pounds. I've lost five so I think that is a reasonable goal... we will see. My goal for this week is to, hmmm, no soft drinks. I've had I think 3 diet cokes lately and I'm going to have to nip that real quick. I also have a goal to do better on the weekends. A friend of mine told me that she has always been interested in exercise and was doing good with nutrition except on the weekends and she realized that she was ruining all of her hard work from the week. That one is going to be exteremely tough for me but I will do my best to work it out.
Oh, on pinterest I found this 14 day Abs challenge. I'm going to start it tonight and see what I think, or if I see any results.... If I notice any changes I will relay the challenge to you.
Me
A huge part of my personality is music. It is probably corny to say but music helps me get through some really tough tough parts of life. I think music is one reason I love the show One Tree Hill so much. They have great music. Anyways, as you know I have had some drama in my life really since this summer and as much as I want to let it go and move on it is hard for me to do that. Its not settled and I'm going to have to face the fact that it never will be. I think it's finally closed but not settled. Anyways, this Sunday at church we sang a new song called From the Inside Out, by Hillsong United. Just listening to the words ( I couldn't sing it...because it made me cry) made me feel like God was just telling me that although I do not understand why everything has happened the way it has, and that some things come and go, or some things may fade away that He is never changing. He is always there. I felt like He wasn't trying to tell me that everything happens for a reason and He had a plan (which I know He does but its just not the time to hear that right now) He was just trying to tell me that He has my back. And it just made me love Him so much. Anyways, I'm going to try to put a youtube of the song and lyrics up but forgive me if it doesn't work.
It is so nice to have days off - especially when I am starting to teach my first subject tomorrow. :) I have been getting ready for everything that my class will be doing. I'm a little nervous but slowly feeling like they are my class too. At first I didn't really want to say anything to them just because I felt like I was just a visitor but I'm getting more and more comfortable in that area.
Tomorrow I start my first subject, writing. I actually like writing, well not really, it's hard to explain. Anyways... my class will be working on persuasive writing. I have what is hopefully something fun for them to do. I am used to kindergarten so I am very used to breaking things down to make something as simple and easy for the students. I plan on continuing to do that with 3rd grade. Even though they do not need things broken down so much any more I kinda feel like if I break it down a few times they will grasp the concept easier and not have as many problems down the road.
So far I have enjoyed 3rd grade. I definitely miss kindergarten, but this is excatly what student teaching is supposed to help me with right? Kinda figure out things and learn to teach different subjects and age groups. I definitley miss my kindergarten class. My last day my teacher bought a cookie cake for me and had the students sign their names to signs she made. It was so sweet and at the end of the day when they all ran up to me to give me a hug I almost cried. :)
Exercise/Nutrition Goals
I finally came up with a training goal and weight loss goal for the month of January. lol Better late than never right? My training goal is to be able to do 15 male push-ups by January 31st. As of today i can do 11... and it is tough. My weight loss goal for the month is to lose 8 to 10 pounds. I've lost five so I think that is a reasonable goal... we will see. My goal for this week is to, hmmm, no soft drinks. I've had I think 3 diet cokes lately and I'm going to have to nip that real quick. I also have a goal to do better on the weekends. A friend of mine told me that she has always been interested in exercise and was doing good with nutrition except on the weekends and she realized that she was ruining all of her hard work from the week. That one is going to be exteremely tough for me but I will do my best to work it out.
Oh, on pinterest I found this 14 day Abs challenge. I'm going to start it tonight and see what I think, or if I see any results.... If I notice any changes I will relay the challenge to you.
Me
A huge part of my personality is music. It is probably corny to say but music helps me get through some really tough tough parts of life. I think music is one reason I love the show One Tree Hill so much. They have great music. Anyways, as you know I have had some drama in my life really since this summer and as much as I want to let it go and move on it is hard for me to do that. Its not settled and I'm going to have to face the fact that it never will be. I think it's finally closed but not settled. Anyways, this Sunday at church we sang a new song called From the Inside Out, by Hillsong United. Just listening to the words ( I couldn't sing it...because it made me cry) made me feel like God was just telling me that although I do not understand why everything has happened the way it has, and that some things come and go, or some things may fade away that He is never changing. He is always there. I felt like He wasn't trying to tell me that everything happens for a reason and He had a plan (which I know He does but its just not the time to hear that right now) He was just trying to tell me that He has my back. And it just made me love Him so much. Anyways, I'm going to try to put a youtube of the song and lyrics up but forgive me if it doesn't work.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Weigh Day
Well.... I have lost 5 pounds total since December 29th. That has been two weeks ago. 3 pounds the first week and 2 this past week. I am very pleased with that because I am back to my pre-holidays weight. My clothes fit better and that is what counts the most :) I've even had two people tell me I look like I've lost weight. Yay :)
My goal for this week is to not eat fast food.... I'm struggling with that right now. I am enjoying eating healthy but I'm just tired when I get home from work and I don't want to cook but tonight I'm going to eat a clean breakfast meal which is one of my favorites.... I will keep you posted!
My goal for this week is to not eat fast food.... I'm struggling with that right now. I am enjoying eating healthy but I'm just tired when I get home from work and I don't want to cook but tonight I'm going to eat a clean breakfast meal which is one of my favorites.... I will keep you posted!
Monday, January 9, 2012
No More Drama In My Life
When I was in high school the song No More Drama by Mary J. Blige was one of my favorites. I had tons and tons of drama! Well drama had tons of me. I did not feed into it or respond to the people who clearly hated me I just ignored. Because of all of the mess in high school I hate drama now. That's one reason I love little kids so much, they don't have drama other than someone won't be their friend and 3 minutes later you see them running around together. But, apparently drama loves me! It just follows me around. Yes there are times that I make mistakes or bad decisions but never with a bad intent or never with the intent to create drama. Sometimes being nice and having a big heart gets me in a lot of trouble. I am back to having tons of drama, which is just flat out embarrassing because I am way too old for that mess.
The point is, it's a new year. I decided back at the beginning of the new year that I wanted to have a new years resolution to focus on me more. I have a hard time sometimes feeling "trapped" in my town and feeling alone and that I don't have anyone period that is my person. So my new year's resolution is to focus on me and being happy and content with my life no matter where I am or who is, or in my case, isn't in my life.
And by coming to this decision I also realized that I do have a "my person". My Savior. I've said before that I'm not a good judge of character and most if not all the guys who have been in my life are just plain not good guys. Well how it hit me that I have a friend who gets excited every time He hears from me. He will never be disrespectful to me. He will never put me down. He will never lie to me. He loves me more than anyone else possibly could. He will never flake out on me or say he is going to be there and disappear. How could I not see before that He is "my person"? He's wonderful and awesome and He wants to absolute best for me. He will never take advantage of me. How great is that? So I am focusing on God this year. Keeping God first in my life and trusting Him with whatever may come my way. My goal this year, no matter what or who comes my way, is to focus on my life and my relationship with the best friend I could possibly have.
On a side note of my progress with the eating and exercising. My weigh day is Wednesday. I weighed the 29th of December and that was my starting weight. I started Jan. 1st and weighed again on Jan. 4th. I didn't update that weight on here because it hadn't been a full week since I had started my new lifestyle. However, I was happy with what the scale said on the 4th and today being the 9th, I am happy with the way my clothes feel. I will try my best to write Wednesday and let you all know how much I have lost and see if I met my goal. Fingers crossed! :)
Please pray for the drama to go away from my life. I just want to be left alone. Please pray that when I do start feeling lonely that I always know that I have someone in my life who loves me more that anyone else and who never leaves my side. Thanks!
The point is, it's a new year. I decided back at the beginning of the new year that I wanted to have a new years resolution to focus on me more. I have a hard time sometimes feeling "trapped" in my town and feeling alone and that I don't have anyone period that is my person. So my new year's resolution is to focus on me and being happy and content with my life no matter where I am or who is, or in my case, isn't in my life.
And by coming to this decision I also realized that I do have a "my person". My Savior. I've said before that I'm not a good judge of character and most if not all the guys who have been in my life are just plain not good guys. Well how it hit me that I have a friend who gets excited every time He hears from me. He will never be disrespectful to me. He will never put me down. He will never lie to me. He loves me more than anyone else possibly could. He will never flake out on me or say he is going to be there and disappear. How could I not see before that He is "my person"? He's wonderful and awesome and He wants to absolute best for me. He will never take advantage of me. How great is that? So I am focusing on God this year. Keeping God first in my life and trusting Him with whatever may come my way. My goal this year, no matter what or who comes my way, is to focus on my life and my relationship with the best friend I could possibly have.
On a side note of my progress with the eating and exercising. My weigh day is Wednesday. I weighed the 29th of December and that was my starting weight. I started Jan. 1st and weighed again on Jan. 4th. I didn't update that weight on here because it hadn't been a full week since I had started my new lifestyle. However, I was happy with what the scale said on the 4th and today being the 9th, I am happy with the way my clothes feel. I will try my best to write Wednesday and let you all know how much I have lost and see if I met my goal. Fingers crossed! :)
Please pray for the drama to go away from my life. I just want to be left alone. Please pray that when I do start feeling lonely that I always know that I have someone in my life who loves me more that anyone else and who never leaves my side. Thanks!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Letting Go...of fat :)
Okay, for those who do not know me very well then I will give you a little bit of insight to my personality. I love love love fitness and exercise. I have a subscription to Oxygen magazine, which I absolutely l-o-v-e. I know tons and tons of exercises and the correct form. I know all the ins and outs of losing weight and getting in shape. But! lol Of course there is a but. But, I do not always take part in this knowledge. I definitely do not always work out and exercise like I should and I most certainly do not eat right. Tosca Reno, who I love, says that losing weight is 80% nutrition. And I believe her! But, I'm not good at following her advice. My weakness on the nutrition part is number one, eating out. I love to go out to eat. I like to people watch. :/ My other weakness is sweets. However, I do pretty good about if they are not around I do not eat them.
Another brand, other than oxygen, that I love and trust is The Firm. I have a lot of their videos and whenever I follow them and watch what I eat I always, Always! see results. I bought a new video series from them back in July and planned on getting started after my vacations to Florida and New York. I did just that and I lost 10-12 pounds and inches (not sure how many). I dropped one pants size and loved my new look and lifestyle. Before school started I cooked a lot and froze it so I could take food with me to Alpharetta when I had class. My workouts were on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday with a small mini work out on Sundays. It was definitely manageable and I loved it. Then, I got a sinus infection. I felt terrible and my body just needed a break from everything that I had going on. I took a few days off from work and working out and just plain everything, including school work. When I started feeling normal again I was behind on school work so working out continued to take a back seat and then since I was out of frozen food, cooking took a back seat. I was back to eating crappy food and fast food and never working out. I did really good about not gaining weight (how? I'm not sure?!) until... dun dun dun... the holidays. I weighed this past Wednesday and I had gained 5 pounds. 5 pounds! I told my Mom that I am just one of those people who can gain weight very very easily. Scary.
Anyways, since this upcoming semester is going to be different with me student teaching and not having to drive 4 hours every Monday and Wednesday and not having constant homework and projects and reading and I could go on and on, I am going to get back on my work out/eating right schedule. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm terrified student teaching is going to kick my big ol' behind. But! I also feel that if I keep trying to wait for the perfect time then I will never get to where I want to be. So, my precious BFF Sandra (who is teeny tiny and always eats right) has made me a wonderful meal plan to help get me started. I'm super excited - even though the timing of this makes it sound like a new years resolution but whatever - to get started and see how my body can change and get to where I want to be.
My end goal is to drop one more pants size. I'm not sure what I want the scale to say... but 20 to 30 pounds lighter will be great! I decided to blog about this because I'm not great at keeping up with things, I mean I got sick and completely quit. That's not good. I'm fairly certain at some point in my life I will be sick again. I can not use that as an excuse to eat what I want to eat and let myself go. Ridic! (haha for you sandra) So... I'm going to keep up with my progress via my blog and let you hold me accountable for staying on track and losing weight. Now, no one and I mean no one knows how much I weigh. And it will be staying that way, at least for now but I will definitely let you all know how much I am losing. I hope to have a small weekly goal every week that I can let you know about. With that said my goal this week is to lose 3 pounds. I know that's a lot for one week but I'll try to be hard core and get it done... no worries I will keep you posted. :p
Another brand, other than oxygen, that I love and trust is The Firm. I have a lot of their videos and whenever I follow them and watch what I eat I always, Always! see results. I bought a new video series from them back in July and planned on getting started after my vacations to Florida and New York. I did just that and I lost 10-12 pounds and inches (not sure how many). I dropped one pants size and loved my new look and lifestyle. Before school started I cooked a lot and froze it so I could take food with me to Alpharetta when I had class. My workouts were on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday with a small mini work out on Sundays. It was definitely manageable and I loved it. Then, I got a sinus infection. I felt terrible and my body just needed a break from everything that I had going on. I took a few days off from work and working out and just plain everything, including school work. When I started feeling normal again I was behind on school work so working out continued to take a back seat and then since I was out of frozen food, cooking took a back seat. I was back to eating crappy food and fast food and never working out. I did really good about not gaining weight (how? I'm not sure?!) until... dun dun dun... the holidays. I weighed this past Wednesday and I had gained 5 pounds. 5 pounds! I told my Mom that I am just one of those people who can gain weight very very easily. Scary.
Anyways, since this upcoming semester is going to be different with me student teaching and not having to drive 4 hours every Monday and Wednesday and not having constant homework and projects and reading and I could go on and on, I am going to get back on my work out/eating right schedule. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm terrified student teaching is going to kick my big ol' behind. But! I also feel that if I keep trying to wait for the perfect time then I will never get to where I want to be. So, my precious BFF Sandra (who is teeny tiny and always eats right) has made me a wonderful meal plan to help get me started. I'm super excited - even though the timing of this makes it sound like a new years resolution but whatever - to get started and see how my body can change and get to where I want to be.
My end goal is to drop one more pants size. I'm not sure what I want the scale to say... but 20 to 30 pounds lighter will be great! I decided to blog about this because I'm not great at keeping up with things, I mean I got sick and completely quit. That's not good. I'm fairly certain at some point in my life I will be sick again. I can not use that as an excuse to eat what I want to eat and let myself go. Ridic! (haha for you sandra) So... I'm going to keep up with my progress via my blog and let you hold me accountable for staying on track and losing weight. Now, no one and I mean no one knows how much I weigh. And it will be staying that way, at least for now but I will definitely let you all know how much I am losing. I hope to have a small weekly goal every week that I can let you know about. With that said my goal this week is to lose 3 pounds. I know that's a lot for one week but I'll try to be hard core and get it done... no worries I will keep you posted. :p
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Moving Forward
I saw this quote on pinterest and it fits my life perfectly. I definitely have a hard time moving forward sometimes and my sister would wholeheartedly agree with this quote. I do too and I probably need to look at this and read it every day.
About an hour ago I saw an old friend of mine. He helped me out with something that I probably could have done if he would have told me where to look for it but he would much rather do it himself than tell me how to do it. And that's fine, that's just him. Anyways, we used to be best friends and we aren't anymore. And to be honest that makes me sad sometimes. Sometimes he drives me so crazy and makes me so mad that I could care less. Ha! Poor thing, he doesn't realize that I get so angry with him sometimes. But sometimes I miss him, I just miss him being someone different in my life. But maybe he just doesn't belong in my future, maybe I don't belong in his. Not because of bad blood just simply because our lives are headed in different directions. Doesn't make it any easier though.
I have 3 couples in my life. My parents, my sister and brother-in-law, and my best friend and her husband. When it all comes down to it they are the only true people in my life. Yes, I have wonderful friends that live other places that I just don't get to see very often but the people who are in my life every day by some form or fashion are those 6 people. They are my family. And I do know and understand that family is more important than anybody else. But I want a family of my own.
I thought I was super close this summer. I met what I thought was the guy God had for me. Ha! I was wrong. And I should have seen it from day one, and if I wasn't so sure that he was a good guy then I would have. I definitely have to listen to the clear "red flags" that are always waving bright red right in front of my face. I have this mental picture of the flag right there and I'm just swatting at it, like a fly or mosquito in my face. Obviously, I need to not swat the flag away.
As much as I want to have my own family and my own person in my life, I need to just wait. Wait for God to set his plan in motion for that aspect of my life. Because if I didn't know that He is the one in charge of my life, then the very subtle (joke) way he closed the door of what I believed my dreams to be would be the proof. So while I'm waiting for Him to show me the next chapter in my life, I'm going to try and let the people who aren't supposed to be in my future go. Whether they are wonderful people or just plain crappy people, maybe when I leave certain people in my past then more of my future can start. It's not easy being patient but I know without a doubt it will be well worth the wait.
Monday, December 19, 2011
The "Plan"
Well, in my about me section I told you the reason I named this blog "Letting Go". I guess I should update those who don't know what my plan was for me life. So here goes...
I have always been a fan of sports but not really a die-hard fan, except for one baseball season when I was in middle school. I did not miss a Braves game, considering how I am now about baseball and watching sports on TV that season was ridiculous. Anyways, I became amazed at Jeff Porter, the Braves Athletic Trainer. I wanted his job... big time, and from then on until I graduated from college with an Athletic Training/Sports Medicine degree that was what I always wanted to do. It was my passion. I don't think I am some crazy career driven woman but I was definitely more worried about a future job than a future husband and family. My plan was to graduate and find a great job doing what I love and then I would meet someone who thought I was amazing and we would get married and have kids. The end. However, before that could happen I had to take the national certification test to became a certified athletic trainer. So I took it.... and took it ... and took it.... and I don't tell how many times I took it but it broke my heart and my dreams every time I looked up my results and saw "Failed".
Rewind to a semester before I graduated and someone who was supposed to be my mentor and leader and supporter called me into his office and proceeded to tell me that I couldn't do what I always wanted to do, that I would never be good enough, that I would never be prepared enough. To sum it up pretty much crushed me. Every time I went to take that test I heard him in my head and every time I saw my results I heard him saying "I told you so".
Obviously my plan wasn't working out I couldn't just not have a job, so I started substitute teaching. Here in my very small town we only have 4 schools, a primary, elementary, middle and high. I put my name on all four school's sub list. I was used to high school kids because I had worked with a lot of high school athletes before I graduate college. I was not used to the little crazy children that belonged to the primary and elementary schools... they scared the mess out of me. And, of course that is the school that called me the most. But, I started to get use to them and realized that they weren't that scary after all. While I was working as a sub I was also trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I mean I didn't want to give up on my dream of athletic training but it clearly wasn't working out and I couldn't, well, didn't want to be a substitute teacher for the rest of my life. I took some time away from teaching and went back to school to be a medical assistant. I enjoyed learning more about the medical field but I wasn't really happy. To sum it up that time in my life was a very dark time.
It started to turn around when I was with a friend one day and we were going who knows where but happened to ride by the Primary school. I started talking about the students there and different stuff they did and said while I worked there and he said, "You know, that's the first time you've smiled in a long time" and that was all he said but it definitely stuck with me. He was right. I thought about it and prayed about it and decided to go back to work as a substitute teacher, this time with the intent of seeing if teaching was something that I wanted to do.
When I started back I was lucky enough to get hired on as a long-term sub for a pre-k paraprofessional. I despised pre-k. Despised. But... it grew on me, and grew on me, and grew on me and before I knew it I knew I wanted to teach, and I wanted to teach 4 year olds. I decided to go back to school and get my masters from a program that would give me my masters and certify me to teach at the same time. The summer I got everything together with Reinhardt ( the University I am receiving my master's at) I also got a call from the Primary school asking me to come to work full time as a kindergarten paraprofessional....which I absolutely love and adore kindergarten students... so I had a full time job with benefits which was awesome. That summer I also applied at Gordon College to become a Resident Director. I got that job as well! After years of disappointment and heartbreak and plain confusion on what to do with my life everything seemed to come together at one time. It was amazing and wonderful and I finally felt like maybe the Lord had a plan for me that I had been completely unaware of.
Fast forward a year and a half and I am almost done with my master's. I am still working at the primary school and at Gordon. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to a job and career. However, I am lost when it comes to a good guy in my life. I have had guys come and go and to be honest they are not good guys. My judgement is clearly off. :/ I'm trying to just go with the flow and trust that God has a plan for me in that area too but it can be extremely hard some days. Anyways, that is a different topic for another day.
P.S. I start student teaching January 5th and I am going to meet my new group of 3rd graders (yes, 3rd grade...quite a difference from kindergarten) tomorrow. I'm excited but nervous. I'm sure it will be fun but I will let you know later...
I have always been a fan of sports but not really a die-hard fan, except for one baseball season when I was in middle school. I did not miss a Braves game, considering how I am now about baseball and watching sports on TV that season was ridiculous. Anyways, I became amazed at Jeff Porter, the Braves Athletic Trainer. I wanted his job... big time, and from then on until I graduated from college with an Athletic Training/Sports Medicine degree that was what I always wanted to do. It was my passion. I don't think I am some crazy career driven woman but I was definitely more worried about a future job than a future husband and family. My plan was to graduate and find a great job doing what I love and then I would meet someone who thought I was amazing and we would get married and have kids. The end. However, before that could happen I had to take the national certification test to became a certified athletic trainer. So I took it.... and took it ... and took it.... and I don't tell how many times I took it but it broke my heart and my dreams every time I looked up my results and saw "Failed".
Rewind to a semester before I graduated and someone who was supposed to be my mentor and leader and supporter called me into his office and proceeded to tell me that I couldn't do what I always wanted to do, that I would never be good enough, that I would never be prepared enough. To sum it up pretty much crushed me. Every time I went to take that test I heard him in my head and every time I saw my results I heard him saying "I told you so".
Obviously my plan wasn't working out I couldn't just not have a job, so I started substitute teaching. Here in my very small town we only have 4 schools, a primary, elementary, middle and high. I put my name on all four school's sub list. I was used to high school kids because I had worked with a lot of high school athletes before I graduate college. I was not used to the little crazy children that belonged to the primary and elementary schools... they scared the mess out of me. And, of course that is the school that called me the most. But, I started to get use to them and realized that they weren't that scary after all. While I was working as a sub I was also trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I mean I didn't want to give up on my dream of athletic training but it clearly wasn't working out and I couldn't, well, didn't want to be a substitute teacher for the rest of my life. I took some time away from teaching and went back to school to be a medical assistant. I enjoyed learning more about the medical field but I wasn't really happy. To sum it up that time in my life was a very dark time.
It started to turn around when I was with a friend one day and we were going who knows where but happened to ride by the Primary school. I started talking about the students there and different stuff they did and said while I worked there and he said, "You know, that's the first time you've smiled in a long time" and that was all he said but it definitely stuck with me. He was right. I thought about it and prayed about it and decided to go back to work as a substitute teacher, this time with the intent of seeing if teaching was something that I wanted to do.
When I started back I was lucky enough to get hired on as a long-term sub for a pre-k paraprofessional. I despised pre-k. Despised. But... it grew on me, and grew on me, and grew on me and before I knew it I knew I wanted to teach, and I wanted to teach 4 year olds. I decided to go back to school and get my masters from a program that would give me my masters and certify me to teach at the same time. The summer I got everything together with Reinhardt ( the University I am receiving my master's at) I also got a call from the Primary school asking me to come to work full time as a kindergarten paraprofessional....which I absolutely love and adore kindergarten students... so I had a full time job with benefits which was awesome. That summer I also applied at Gordon College to become a Resident Director. I got that job as well! After years of disappointment and heartbreak and plain confusion on what to do with my life everything seemed to come together at one time. It was amazing and wonderful and I finally felt like maybe the Lord had a plan for me that I had been completely unaware of.
Fast forward a year and a half and I am almost done with my master's. I am still working at the primary school and at Gordon. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to a job and career. However, I am lost when it comes to a good guy in my life. I have had guys come and go and to be honest they are not good guys. My judgement is clearly off. :/ I'm trying to just go with the flow and trust that God has a plan for me in that area too but it can be extremely hard some days. Anyways, that is a different topic for another day.
P.S. I start student teaching January 5th and I am going to meet my new group of 3rd graders (yes, 3rd grade...quite a difference from kindergarten) tomorrow. I'm excited but nervous. I'm sure it will be fun but I will let you know later...
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