Okay, for those who do not know me very well then I will give you a little bit of insight to my personality. I love love love fitness and exercise. I have a subscription to Oxygen magazine, which I absolutely l-o-v-e. I know tons and tons of exercises and the correct form. I know all the ins and outs of losing weight and getting in shape. But! lol Of course there is a but. But, I do not always take part in this knowledge. I definitely do not always work out and exercise like I should and I most certainly do not eat right. Tosca Reno, who I love, says that losing weight is 80% nutrition. And I believe her! But, I'm not good at following her advice. My weakness on the nutrition part is number one, eating out. I love to go out to eat. I like to people watch. :/ My other weakness is sweets. However, I do pretty good about if they are not around I do not eat them.
Another brand, other than oxygen, that I love and trust is The Firm. I have a lot of their videos and whenever I follow them and watch what I eat I always, Always! see results. I bought a new video series from them back in July and planned on getting started after my vacations to Florida and New York. I did just that and I lost 10-12 pounds and inches (not sure how many). I dropped one pants size and loved my new look and lifestyle. Before school started I cooked a lot and froze it so I could take food with me to Alpharetta when I had class. My workouts were on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday with a small mini work out on Sundays. It was definitely manageable and I loved it. Then, I got a sinus infection. I felt terrible and my body just needed a break from everything that I had going on. I took a few days off from work and working out and just plain everything, including school work. When I started feeling normal again I was behind on school work so working out continued to take a back seat and then since I was out of frozen food, cooking took a back seat. I was back to eating crappy food and fast food and never working out. I did really good about not gaining weight (how? I'm not sure?!) until... dun dun dun... the holidays. I weighed this past Wednesday and I had gained 5 pounds. 5 pounds! I told my Mom that I am just one of those people who can gain weight very very easily. Scary.
Anyways, since this upcoming semester is going to be different with me student teaching and not having to drive 4 hours every Monday and Wednesday and not having constant homework and projects and reading and I could go on and on, I am going to get back on my work out/eating right schedule. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm terrified student teaching is going to kick my big ol' behind. But! I also feel that if I keep trying to wait for the perfect time then I will never get to where I want to be. So, my precious BFF Sandra (who is teeny tiny and always eats right) has made me a wonderful meal plan to help get me started. I'm super excited - even though the timing of this makes it sound like a new years resolution but whatever - to get started and see how my body can change and get to where I want to be.
My end goal is to drop one more pants size. I'm not sure what I want the scale to say... but 20 to 30 pounds lighter will be great! I decided to blog about this because I'm not great at keeping up with things, I mean I got sick and completely quit. That's not good. I'm fairly certain at some point in my life I will be sick again. I can not use that as an excuse to eat what I want to eat and let myself go. Ridic! (haha for you sandra) So... I'm going to keep up with my progress via my blog and let you hold me accountable for staying on track and losing weight. Now, no one and I mean no one knows how much I weigh. And it will be staying that way, at least for now but I will definitely let you all know how much I am losing. I hope to have a small weekly goal every week that I can let you know about. With that said my goal this week is to lose 3 pounds. I know that's a lot for one week but I'll try to be hard core and get it done... no worries I will keep you posted. :p
:)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Moving Forward
I saw this quote on pinterest and it fits my life perfectly. I definitely have a hard time moving forward sometimes and my sister would wholeheartedly agree with this quote. I do too and I probably need to look at this and read it every day.
About an hour ago I saw an old friend of mine. He helped me out with something that I probably could have done if he would have told me where to look for it but he would much rather do it himself than tell me how to do it. And that's fine, that's just him. Anyways, we used to be best friends and we aren't anymore. And to be honest that makes me sad sometimes. Sometimes he drives me so crazy and makes me so mad that I could care less. Ha! Poor thing, he doesn't realize that I get so angry with him sometimes. But sometimes I miss him, I just miss him being someone different in my life. But maybe he just doesn't belong in my future, maybe I don't belong in his. Not because of bad blood just simply because our lives are headed in different directions. Doesn't make it any easier though.
I have 3 couples in my life. My parents, my sister and brother-in-law, and my best friend and her husband. When it all comes down to it they are the only true people in my life. Yes, I have wonderful friends that live other places that I just don't get to see very often but the people who are in my life every day by some form or fashion are those 6 people. They are my family. And I do know and understand that family is more important than anybody else. But I want a family of my own.
I thought I was super close this summer. I met what I thought was the guy God had for me. Ha! I was wrong. And I should have seen it from day one, and if I wasn't so sure that he was a good guy then I would have. I definitely have to listen to the clear "red flags" that are always waving bright red right in front of my face. I have this mental picture of the flag right there and I'm just swatting at it, like a fly or mosquito in my face. Obviously, I need to not swat the flag away.
As much as I want to have my own family and my own person in my life, I need to just wait. Wait for God to set his plan in motion for that aspect of my life. Because if I didn't know that He is the one in charge of my life, then the very subtle (joke) way he closed the door of what I believed my dreams to be would be the proof. So while I'm waiting for Him to show me the next chapter in my life, I'm going to try and let the people who aren't supposed to be in my future go. Whether they are wonderful people or just plain crappy people, maybe when I leave certain people in my past then more of my future can start. It's not easy being patient but I know without a doubt it will be well worth the wait.
Monday, December 19, 2011
The "Plan"
Well, in my about me section I told you the reason I named this blog "Letting Go". I guess I should update those who don't know what my plan was for me life. So here goes...
I have always been a fan of sports but not really a die-hard fan, except for one baseball season when I was in middle school. I did not miss a Braves game, considering how I am now about baseball and watching sports on TV that season was ridiculous. Anyways, I became amazed at Jeff Porter, the Braves Athletic Trainer. I wanted his job... big time, and from then on until I graduated from college with an Athletic Training/Sports Medicine degree that was what I always wanted to do. It was my passion. I don't think I am some crazy career driven woman but I was definitely more worried about a future job than a future husband and family. My plan was to graduate and find a great job doing what I love and then I would meet someone who thought I was amazing and we would get married and have kids. The end. However, before that could happen I had to take the national certification test to became a certified athletic trainer. So I took it.... and took it ... and took it.... and I don't tell how many times I took it but it broke my heart and my dreams every time I looked up my results and saw "Failed".
Rewind to a semester before I graduated and someone who was supposed to be my mentor and leader and supporter called me into his office and proceeded to tell me that I couldn't do what I always wanted to do, that I would never be good enough, that I would never be prepared enough. To sum it up pretty much crushed me. Every time I went to take that test I heard him in my head and every time I saw my results I heard him saying "I told you so".
Obviously my plan wasn't working out I couldn't just not have a job, so I started substitute teaching. Here in my very small town we only have 4 schools, a primary, elementary, middle and high. I put my name on all four school's sub list. I was used to high school kids because I had worked with a lot of high school athletes before I graduate college. I was not used to the little crazy children that belonged to the primary and elementary schools... they scared the mess out of me. And, of course that is the school that called me the most. But, I started to get use to them and realized that they weren't that scary after all. While I was working as a sub I was also trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I mean I didn't want to give up on my dream of athletic training but it clearly wasn't working out and I couldn't, well, didn't want to be a substitute teacher for the rest of my life. I took some time away from teaching and went back to school to be a medical assistant. I enjoyed learning more about the medical field but I wasn't really happy. To sum it up that time in my life was a very dark time.
It started to turn around when I was with a friend one day and we were going who knows where but happened to ride by the Primary school. I started talking about the students there and different stuff they did and said while I worked there and he said, "You know, that's the first time you've smiled in a long time" and that was all he said but it definitely stuck with me. He was right. I thought about it and prayed about it and decided to go back to work as a substitute teacher, this time with the intent of seeing if teaching was something that I wanted to do.
When I started back I was lucky enough to get hired on as a long-term sub for a pre-k paraprofessional. I despised pre-k. Despised. But... it grew on me, and grew on me, and grew on me and before I knew it I knew I wanted to teach, and I wanted to teach 4 year olds. I decided to go back to school and get my masters from a program that would give me my masters and certify me to teach at the same time. The summer I got everything together with Reinhardt ( the University I am receiving my master's at) I also got a call from the Primary school asking me to come to work full time as a kindergarten paraprofessional....which I absolutely love and adore kindergarten students... so I had a full time job with benefits which was awesome. That summer I also applied at Gordon College to become a Resident Director. I got that job as well! After years of disappointment and heartbreak and plain confusion on what to do with my life everything seemed to come together at one time. It was amazing and wonderful and I finally felt like maybe the Lord had a plan for me that I had been completely unaware of.
Fast forward a year and a half and I am almost done with my master's. I am still working at the primary school and at Gordon. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to a job and career. However, I am lost when it comes to a good guy in my life. I have had guys come and go and to be honest they are not good guys. My judgement is clearly off. :/ I'm trying to just go with the flow and trust that God has a plan for me in that area too but it can be extremely hard some days. Anyways, that is a different topic for another day.
P.S. I start student teaching January 5th and I am going to meet my new group of 3rd graders (yes, 3rd grade...quite a difference from kindergarten) tomorrow. I'm excited but nervous. I'm sure it will be fun but I will let you know later...
I have always been a fan of sports but not really a die-hard fan, except for one baseball season when I was in middle school. I did not miss a Braves game, considering how I am now about baseball and watching sports on TV that season was ridiculous. Anyways, I became amazed at Jeff Porter, the Braves Athletic Trainer. I wanted his job... big time, and from then on until I graduated from college with an Athletic Training/Sports Medicine degree that was what I always wanted to do. It was my passion. I don't think I am some crazy career driven woman but I was definitely more worried about a future job than a future husband and family. My plan was to graduate and find a great job doing what I love and then I would meet someone who thought I was amazing and we would get married and have kids. The end. However, before that could happen I had to take the national certification test to became a certified athletic trainer. So I took it.... and took it ... and took it.... and I don't tell how many times I took it but it broke my heart and my dreams every time I looked up my results and saw "Failed".
Rewind to a semester before I graduated and someone who was supposed to be my mentor and leader and supporter called me into his office and proceeded to tell me that I couldn't do what I always wanted to do, that I would never be good enough, that I would never be prepared enough. To sum it up pretty much crushed me. Every time I went to take that test I heard him in my head and every time I saw my results I heard him saying "I told you so".
Obviously my plan wasn't working out I couldn't just not have a job, so I started substitute teaching. Here in my very small town we only have 4 schools, a primary, elementary, middle and high. I put my name on all four school's sub list. I was used to high school kids because I had worked with a lot of high school athletes before I graduate college. I was not used to the little crazy children that belonged to the primary and elementary schools... they scared the mess out of me. And, of course that is the school that called me the most. But, I started to get use to them and realized that they weren't that scary after all. While I was working as a sub I was also trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I mean I didn't want to give up on my dream of athletic training but it clearly wasn't working out and I couldn't, well, didn't want to be a substitute teacher for the rest of my life. I took some time away from teaching and went back to school to be a medical assistant. I enjoyed learning more about the medical field but I wasn't really happy. To sum it up that time in my life was a very dark time.
It started to turn around when I was with a friend one day and we were going who knows where but happened to ride by the Primary school. I started talking about the students there and different stuff they did and said while I worked there and he said, "You know, that's the first time you've smiled in a long time" and that was all he said but it definitely stuck with me. He was right. I thought about it and prayed about it and decided to go back to work as a substitute teacher, this time with the intent of seeing if teaching was something that I wanted to do.
When I started back I was lucky enough to get hired on as a long-term sub for a pre-k paraprofessional. I despised pre-k. Despised. But... it grew on me, and grew on me, and grew on me and before I knew it I knew I wanted to teach, and I wanted to teach 4 year olds. I decided to go back to school and get my masters from a program that would give me my masters and certify me to teach at the same time. The summer I got everything together with Reinhardt ( the University I am receiving my master's at) I also got a call from the Primary school asking me to come to work full time as a kindergarten paraprofessional....which I absolutely love and adore kindergarten students... so I had a full time job with benefits which was awesome. That summer I also applied at Gordon College to become a Resident Director. I got that job as well! After years of disappointment and heartbreak and plain confusion on what to do with my life everything seemed to come together at one time. It was amazing and wonderful and I finally felt like maybe the Lord had a plan for me that I had been completely unaware of.
Fast forward a year and a half and I am almost done with my master's. I am still working at the primary school and at Gordon. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to a job and career. However, I am lost when it comes to a good guy in my life. I have had guys come and go and to be honest they are not good guys. My judgement is clearly off. :/ I'm trying to just go with the flow and trust that God has a plan for me in that area too but it can be extremely hard some days. Anyways, that is a different topic for another day.
P.S. I start student teaching January 5th and I am going to meet my new group of 3rd graders (yes, 3rd grade...quite a difference from kindergarten) tomorrow. I'm excited but nervous. I'm sure it will be fun but I will let you know later...
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Me...
Well I have had this blog for like a week now and I've been putting off actually writing anything but I'm going to take the plunge and get started. Scary. :/
Like I said in my "about me" section, I am a single 26 year old living in a very small town. Don't get me wrong, I love this small town, I grew up here and I think it is a wonderful, beautiful place to live. However, if an opportunity came around that would require me to move to a new place I wouldn't hesitiate very long before I packed up my stuff and moved away. I also mentioned all my jobs in my "about me". I have 3 jobs and I am working on my Master's degree. My first job is as a kindergarten paraprofessional. I really love that job... those sweet little 5 year olds crack me up. My second job is as a Resident Director at the college in my hometown. Most of the time I love this job too. They are my children as well... just older. ;) My third job is working as a somewhat (in my opinion) sorry version of a children's minister at my church. I served as the intern for the children's ministry this summer and I really enjoyed it. When summer ended I agreed to continue working on Sunday mornings and nights with the children. The reason I say I am a sorry version of a children's minister is simply because the only time I spend with these kids is on Sunday. I would love to do more fun stuff and trips with them but to be honest, I just do not have time. My fourth job (what I call it) is my master's work. I just get paid in grades instead of money. For the past year and a half I have been going to class about 2 hours away every Monday and Wednesday from 6 until no later than 11. I have enjoyed meeting the people I have class with and learning more about education (yes, my degree will be in early childhood) however, it has taken a toll on me and my bank account paying for all of the gas every week. But! It will be well worth it when it is all said and done...which actually will be in April! Yay for that! Okay, that is all for now. Welcome to my hetic life. :)
Before I go I will explain my picture. No, I do not have 2 very handsome boys. However, my sister does. These two sweet boys are my favortie people in the whole world. And yes, it's true - I'm their favortie person too. My sister actually has a blog where you can read all about Garrison and Austin. I really think you should check it out. :) http://selphpartyof3.blogspot.com/
Like I said in my "about me" section, I am a single 26 year old living in a very small town. Don't get me wrong, I love this small town, I grew up here and I think it is a wonderful, beautiful place to live. However, if an opportunity came around that would require me to move to a new place I wouldn't hesitiate very long before I packed up my stuff and moved away. I also mentioned all my jobs in my "about me". I have 3 jobs and I am working on my Master's degree. My first job is as a kindergarten paraprofessional. I really love that job... those sweet little 5 year olds crack me up. My second job is as a Resident Director at the college in my hometown. Most of the time I love this job too. They are my children as well... just older. ;) My third job is working as a somewhat (in my opinion) sorry version of a children's minister at my church. I served as the intern for the children's ministry this summer and I really enjoyed it. When summer ended I agreed to continue working on Sunday mornings and nights with the children. The reason I say I am a sorry version of a children's minister is simply because the only time I spend with these kids is on Sunday. I would love to do more fun stuff and trips with them but to be honest, I just do not have time. My fourth job (what I call it) is my master's work. I just get paid in grades instead of money. For the past year and a half I have been going to class about 2 hours away every Monday and Wednesday from 6 until no later than 11. I have enjoyed meeting the people I have class with and learning more about education (yes, my degree will be in early childhood) however, it has taken a toll on me and my bank account paying for all of the gas every week. But! It will be well worth it when it is all said and done...which actually will be in April! Yay for that! Okay, that is all for now. Welcome to my hetic life. :)
Before I go I will explain my picture. No, I do not have 2 very handsome boys. However, my sister does. These two sweet boys are my favortie people in the whole world. And yes, it's true - I'm their favortie person too. My sister actually has a blog where you can read all about Garrison and Austin. I really think you should check it out. :) http://selphpartyof3.blogspot.com/
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