The Big C ~ Part 3

Once we were safe and sound at home everything with my recovery was actually wonderful. I felt really good, I was able to eat anything that I wanted and I had no problems getting up and heading out for the day. I was really shocked, simply because they told me that it would be 7 to 10 days. I was definitely not seeing that.

I only had to use my pain medicine for a few days after the surgery and the biggest and probably only problem that I had after that was the fact that I was not sleeping at all. I wasn't sure if it was because the pain medicine knocked me out so good that I just couldn't sleep without it or if it was because I wasn't really doing anything during the day and I just really wasn't that tired. I didn't sleep all that well until I went back to school a whole week and a half later.

Dr. T told me the day of my surgery that if it wasn't for the ice storm that they would probably know the results of my pathology by that Friday but with the ice storm it may take longer. Well, those results came a week later. My glue was starting to come off, I was starting to see a light at the end of the don't do anything strenuous like work out or breathe the wrong way tunnel. Things were looking up. Then Dr. T called. He really didn't waste time either. The conversation pretty much went like this...

Hi Mrs. Garrison, this is Dr. T. Your pathology reports came back in and it looks like the nodule that we removed was in fact cancer.

 Bam. Well there you have it. He just kept right on talking and I kinda quit listening for a minute or two while I let it sink it. I wasn't really shocked but I wasn't really expecting that either. The only real reason that I wasn't shocked was the picture of the nodule they removed. I mean, did you see the size of that thing? It looked kinda nasty, so that was a little bit of a red flag to me. I quickly brought myself back to reality as Dr. T was asking if I had any questions. My first question was simply, how do we know that it is not going to spread? He stated that since they removed the tumor it would not spread. If it did spread, it already did and that is why they would need to go in and remove the rest of my thyroid. Wait, wait, wait... go back one second... tumor?? Okay, this "lump" that was never called a lump in the first place, this thing that had a fancy name called nodule was now being called a tumor?? I had a tumor in my body. I mean, what am I supposed to do with that information. I still don't really know.

Dr. T stated that they would like to go in and remove the rest of my thyroid in about a week. You would think that the normal response was sure go ahead, remove whatever you need but I just said, "Can I talk to my husband about this?" Apparently Dr. T was more than use to that response and he said sure, just call me or email me when you are ready. By the time we got off the phone Frankie was in the car with me and we were parked at our favorite restaurant in town (since I was on my way to get Frankie when Dr. T called). I just looked at Frankie and said, well, my results came back and it was cancer.  He kinda looked like someone punched him in his stomach. I just sat there, I didn't really know what to do. He finally started shaking his head and of course the tears started flowing. Hahah, most people would think, well of course that is a perfectly normal reaction but since I cry at songs and commercials and a stranger crying on the street it is really just a part of my everyday life. Frankie immediately said "please don't cry" and all I could say was "please don't be mad at me" lol Just a ridiculous conversation from two people who have had way to much going on for only 3 months of marriage. :) He reassured me that he wasn't mad at me just mad that this was happening to me and I just remember saying, "don't do that because I don't want to cry about it. It is what it is and from what Dr. T says it really shouldn't be that bad." So, we both sucked it up, went inside and enjoyed a wonderful meal at one of our favorite places.

The rest of the day was spent telling my family and my best friends. Most of which handled it very very well. The way I needed them to handle it, like it was no big deal and we were just going to take care of it. (lol when I wrote take care of it  I immediately thought of a mob boss telling his contract killer to "take care of it"  - wow - I watch way too much crime drama) The rest of the day also consisted of emailing my boss and Dr. T and scheduling the next surgery.

I of course had my really upset moments, but most of those moments came with Frankie. I guess most things like that come with your spouse. ( I have a spouse. Weird) He just let me cry and ask ridiculous questions that he would never be able to answer. He was really really awesome. I don't really know how he took it, he simply stayed in the garage (that's his man cave, he literally stands in there and stares at cars like they are the best thing God ever created. A 10 on the Ridiculous Scale) and this time he didn't look happy, he looked sad but the last thing I could handle was him being upset so he did a really good job keeping it covered up out there. With everybody else I was simply happy and okay, and I really was okay.

The biggest issue I had was that every doctor I had seen from day one of this journey told me "Oh, you're young and healthy so I am sure everything will be fine" Well you know what? It wasn't fine so does this mean that I am no longer young and healthy? Was I never healthy? Was there something I could have done to avoid this? I could have driven myself crazy but there really wasn't anything that I could have done. Everything I looked up said that they don't know where thyroid cancer comes from or what causes it so the best thing for me was not to dwell on it. I just don't really like that saying anymore. Just because you are young and healthy does not mean things can't happen to you. Of course it helps but sometimes s..t happens and we just deal with it.

The love and support that everyone has shown me during this time has been nothing short of amazing, wonderful, and to be honest humbling. The phone calls and hugs and prayers have probably been the number one reason why I have been able to honestly say that I'm good and I'm doing okay when others ask how I am. I really am good, I really am ok. Church was a tear jerker the Sunday before my next surgery. Brother Garth (who is just a wonderful wonderful man and pastor) made sure to mention me during his prayer requests and said to just pray a special prayer for me but that is not all he did. At the end of the service that day, after the invitation he walked up the aisle and said "Anna and Frankie, can y'all come out into the aisle here for a minute" Of course the tears started flowing, probably because Garth is the sweetest person ever and probably because I was so embarrassed that he was calling us out in front of the entire church. He told everyone to come close and touch someone and he prayed the sweetest prayer, not only for me but for my family. For my sister and her family with the new baby, for my grandmother who had been in the hospital for a while and for my parents who were having to deal with my granny, my sister and me. It was so evident how much he cares for my family and I was just boohooing like a baby right into his microphone. Which means that the entire church heard me crying, sniffing and snotting - just drop your head in shame with me - I felt so humbled, so loved, and so embarrassed all at the same time. AND! To top off the day my wonderful Sunday School class did the same thing. I just cried again. I mean, it is obviously a part of who I am.

I went back to work for only two days before my next surgery but those two days were so so wonderful. I love love love my babies. I was so happy to see them. I got tons and tons and tons of hugs and kisses and it made my two days to see my sweeties. That Tuesday after work, February 25th, Frankie and I packed up and headed back to Augusta for surgery number 2. This time Frankie would take me and my mom would meet us at the hospital the next day. She would then stay with me until Thursday and bring me home. I know it may sound really crazy but there was something so comforting about going in at the same time and seeing the same faces just 2 weeks later. I paid the same lady, the same nurse gave me my stuff, I was only in one room over from the room I was in two weeks prior. They wheeled me down to the floor where the operating room was located and Frankie came with me until it was time to wheel me to the operating room. The same fellow was there and she made me very relaxed. There was something different about this surgery that made me more nervous, I mean the nodule was out, this was simply removing the normal side of my thyroid. However, I don't know if it was because of all of the attention that I was suddenly getting but somehow I was crazy nervous and scared of this surgery. My fellow came in and then Dr. T came in and I was just at ease. Then my sleepy nurses came in. That's what I will call them. I had the same ones. I was very happy and they asked if I remembered them and of course I did. I was super happy to have to same ones. I mean, like weird happy about it. I guess I felt like they did a good job last time that they would do a good job this time too. They wheeled me back and before I knew it I was getting woke up by two sweet nurses that were laughing at me a lot. I felt kind of bad about that but they kept saying that I was such a good patient (and I must have been because they sent me a card in the mail lol - what kind of people do they see down there??). They fed me ice chips and made sure to call my room and see if my mom had gotten there when I asked if they could find out. They just kept laughing, they didn't even want to leave once they took me back to my room with Frankie and mama. I must admit that they did make me feel pretty good. Once I was good to go my mom took me to get some lunch while Frankie went to pick up my medicine. This time my medicine consisted of my new thyroid pill and my calcium pills.

Once we got back to the hotel Garth, my wonderful pastor, came to visit! Yes! The man drove 2 and a half hours to visit me for like 30 minutes. Just wonderful and sweet! Then a friend that grew up in our church who is now a pastor of a church in Augusta came to visit. There are no words for how blessed I felt. Once again, I had some soup for supper that night and thank goodness for no ice we woke up the next morning and were able to head home.

This time the recovery has actually been more like 7 to 10 days. I have not enjoyed it. My mom keeps reminding me that it was my 2nd surgery in 2 weeks and that I need to take it easy. Plus, I am missing an organ these days which is not very fun by the way.... but I am happy to say that they think the Big C is all gone. We won't know for sure until my follow up with Dr. J which is in a few weeks but I am thinking positive. :)

It's crazy to think that I had cancer in my body and I would have never known it if I didn't go to the doctor. It's crazy to think that I had cancer in my body and I felt perfectly fine the whole time. Kind of scary actually. Kind of makes you want to go get checked out huh? You should. :)

 

A picture I snapped on our way headed to Augusta the night before the second surgery.

 

I got pretty scarves from Dr. T! How wonderful is that?

 

My glue and bandage from the second surgery.